she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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