I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
