one two three fourrrrnication!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize