he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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