Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
