I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
