Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
