just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize