why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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