Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
