Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
