I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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