I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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