would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
