Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
