He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
