I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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