the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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