Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
