I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
