nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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