I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
