He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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