4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
