I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
