Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
