wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
