I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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