I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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