You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
