Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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