OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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