We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There's always time for handjobs
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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