I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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