She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
