shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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