She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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