I cannot find my penis.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
