he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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