Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
