Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
