we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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