I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is it because I queefed?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
