the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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