Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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