My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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