He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
