Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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