then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
