Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
