i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
