i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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