Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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