i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
