Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...