i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island