So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
