I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
