i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
