People in love make me want to vomit
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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