yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
