Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
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What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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