new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize