Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
