i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
