I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
